Apple Butt

Apple Butt is a series of short stories written by ZiqwerkelSharda, and later, AngieJones. They are all very short, only a few sentences in length, and are all written in first-person. Each story centers around someone taking a bite out of their butt, or the butt of another person, because they see a fruit attached to or associated with it, typically an apple.

History

The first two Apple Butt stories were penned inside a Minecraft world, which ZiqwerkelSharda created for her and AngieJones to cause chaos within using Command Blocks and TNT. She wrote the first two installments in this world inside Written Book items, which she placed in chests scattered around the world. The books were forgotten about until she invited turtlehat and fishfritters to cause chaos in the world during a sleepover, and the two eventually rediscovered the first book. They found its childish humor and nonsensical plot hilarious, and it was eventually shared among the rest of their friends in the remix tree community. Over time it has become a classic inside joke for the friend group, spawning numerous sequels and spinoffs.

Official Stories

These are the stories considered canonical entries in the Apple Butt series. All official entries were written by ZiqwerkelSharda.

Apple Butt I

Apple Butt I

Written by

ZiqwerkelSharda

Written on

Before Jun 6, 2019

The first installment of Apple Butt, written by ZiqwerkelSharda in Minecraft.

Text

My Butt has a Big Apple ON IT!!!! I eat the apple. It is warm and juicy. Oh no, I just took a bite out of my warm and juicy butt!

Trivia

• In the original text of the Minecraft book, the author described their butt and the apple on it as "yummy and juicy" instead of "warm and juicy." The phrase seems to have changed through retellings, with "warm and juicy" now being the more commonly used version.

Apple Butt II

Apple Butt II

Written by

ZiqwerkelSharda

Written on

Before Aug 29, 2019

The second installment of Apple Butt, also written by ZiqwerkelSharda in Minecraft.

Text

The doctor says I will have to get a replacement for my warm and juicy butt... but they only have Apple-flavored butts! I can't resist... oh no, I took a bite!

Apple Butt III

Apple Butt III

Written by

ZiqwerkelSharda

Written on

Before Nov 10, 2019

The third installment of Apple Butt, written by ZiqwerkelSharda on Mercenary_Connor's Minecraft server.

Text

My friend says I have a serious BUTT PROBLEM! But he can't be right. I'll prove it! I'll put an apple on my butt for 10 HOURS AND NOT DO ANYTHING! And he'll watch me to prove it! ...Wait... Oh no! I accidentally took a bite of his juicealicious posterior!

Apple Butt IV

Apple Butt IV

Written by

ZiqwerkelSharda

Written on

Before Jan 12, 2020

The fourth installment of Apple Butt, written by ZiqwerkelSharda on Mercenary_Connor's Minecraft server. It was originally available only through the storefront ZiqwerkelSharda had built in the world, but she later shared it publicly due to low sales.

Text

I now have a beautiful girlfriend! We have so many shared interests, like apples. We really do make the perfect pair... wait... who took the bite out of this juicy pear on my butt?

Apple Butt V

Apple Butt V

Apple Butt V in handwritten form.

Written by

AngieJones

Written on

Jun 25, 2020 (acronym)
Aug 21, 2024 (full)

The fifth installment of Apple Butt. The original version is an acronym forming the words "APPLE BUTT", written by AngieJones during a game of Quiplash as a response to the player-made prompt "Just answer Apple Butt, but make it actually funny somehow" ZiqwerkelSharda's competing response to the same prompt was "I'm [ZiqwerkelSharda], Apple Butt 5 is the other answer", making AngieJones's response the new official fifth installment in the series.

ZiqwerkelSharda later retracted this statement, lowering Apple Butt V to unofficial status; AngieJones protested, and ZiqwerkelSharda responded that she'd make it official if AngieJones would write a version of Apple Butt V with an actual story. AngieJones acquiesced and made the Quiplash version of Apple Butt V into a full acrostic, discussing the main character making their love of eating butts into a paid service.

Original

Actually Punny Pun Lol Egg Bruh Um Toot Toot

Full version

Actually, I'm starting to think that consuming fruit butts isn't that bad.
Punny, isn't that?
Puns actually didn't appear in that line, but whatever.
Lol, anyways, I've set up a butt-shrinking service.
Eggs are eaten in the morning so any noxious gas is expelled before the shrinking process.
"Bruh" is what my mom said when I pitched this business but I just said
Um... I can't NOT take a bite when I see fruit butts!
Toots are gross when I'm trying to shrink a butt – thus the eggs.
Toot is what I say when the client's butt has been shrinked. "Toot! Oh no, I just took a bite out of your butt!" They thank me.

Trivia

• The prompt's exasperated tone comes from a spate of games in which players overused Apple Butt references in their responses.
• The original story's nonsensicality can be partly attributed to Quiplash's strict time limit for player responses.

Unofficial Stories

Various members of the remix tree community have written a number of Apple Butt stories that are not considered parts of the main series's chronology.

Crystal Butt

Crystal Butt

Written by

ZiqwerkelSharda

Written on

Jan 31, 2022

Summary

An Apple Butt–style story written by ZiqwerkelSharda. It references the game Celeste.

Text

I just got all the Crystal Hearts in Celeste! I'm so glad, it took ages to find them all but here I am! I'm really proud of myself, now I can display them all on my wall... man, they look so shiny... and delicious... and posterior-like... oh no, I just took a bite out of that yummy and crystalline butt!